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The great Parsi pursuit

The original article appeared in The Times of India here: The Great Parsi Pursuit

An enterprising 55-year-old bachelor claiming to have almost made it to the portals of the Forbes list of billionaires was reluctantly but firmly refused entry to an exclusive party. So were pushy parents and wannabe in-laws who were eager to gatecrash the meet. The unlikely bouncers were hoary-headed and fragile but iron-willed pillars of the Zoroastrian community who had arranged a get-together aka speed dating only for Zoroastrian eligibles aged 18-40. The soporific Khareghat Colony at Hughes Road was suddenly charged with exuberance when 97 singles descended upon the venue last Saturday.

The meet was organised by the Bombay Parsi Panchayat (BPP) who has turned matchmaker in order to facilitate young Zoroastrians to find soulmates and counter the dwindling population of the community. It’s proposed to be a monthly affair, which will culminate in a few happily-married-ever-after stories. (…and ofcourse then there would be three or four or even five…)

The 2001 census reported that the number of Parsis in India were 69600 and a recent research paper by the International Institute for Population Sciences titled `The Demographic Predicament of Parsis in India’ predicts that by 2051, there would be only 34,000 Parsis in India. The marriage bureau has been revived by the BPP in order to make sure single Parsis who otherwise do not get chances to interact with members of their community have a place to meet.

Organiser and BPP trustee Arnavaz Mistry recalls how she would get calls from parents looking to find suitors for their children. “Singles wanted the BPP to organize more community meets. The response to our efforts has been unprecedented. We had 91 singles at the first meet and 96 for the second,’’ she says. 

Each hopeful had to list their name, age, address, qualifications and contact details in a register before entering. Of the 96 participants, 36 were girls and 60 were boys. The organisers observed that while the girls were double graduates, MBAs, LLBs, MBBSs and CAs, the boys scored lower on the educational front, which does not work in their favour.

As the program took off, perennially favourite party games with appropriate innovations helped to break the ice and let the singles mingle. The Queen of Sheeba suddenly showed a bias to demand significantly Zoroastrian items. An Asho Farohar pendant, a kusti (holy thread worn around the waist) and a gent’s sudra (muslin shirt of religious significance) were on her requests list. One team gained extra points when an eager-beaver swiftly partially disrobed and proffered his sadra to the team members to gain winning points. His task was heartily applauded. An on-looker would wonder why others were reluctant to follow in this Salman Khan’s footsteps.

The next ice-breaker almost became an arm-breaker as Musical Arms was played to songs like Rasputin, DISCO, Daddy Cool and Gimme Hope Jo’anna. As group games progressed, the bashful youngsters were seen conversing and getting to know each other. ”If you look closely, you’ll notice that the guys are actually more shy than the girls,” says Zarin Havewala one of the organisers. Host and BPP trustee  Arnavaz Mistry was egging the participants to socialise. ”Our efforts would not be in vain even if they culminate in one or two marriages,” says Desai who had publicised the event through various colony circulars and newspaper ads. The old ways of making matches through word of mouth by the kaajwali bai (matchmaker) are almost redundant. The 21st century Zoroastrians prefer to have a direct dialogue to confirm a plausible alliance.

Yazdi Naval Manek, 38 has been trying to find a suitable match since seven years. “Earlier the BPP would send registered letters with details about prospective brides. But that method was very slow and didn’t really help me find a good match,’’ says the resident of Byculla’s Jer Baug who then tries to make conversation with a group of giggling girls from Godrej Baug. Their dilemma is apparent. “I’m 29, unmarried and Parsi. There are too few boys, too much pressure,’’ lamented a girl.

A young man came forward to speak up before the crowd, ”I’m looking for a girl with both sense and sensibility. The bank balance doesn’t matter and since I’m going go top of the hill soon, I think it’s time to get a life partner. Let’s appreciate efforts of the BPP by making efforts ourselves”. Colaba residents and friends Vaspan Chichgar and Khushroo Tata wanted to connect positively with the girls and then hopefully a friendship would blossom into marriage. ”It’s better to be friends, get to know the person before jumping into marriage,” says Chichgar who points out that the community suffers a high divorce rate which needs to be controlled. ”I want to increase the Parsi progeny and give back to the community,” he says. Tata who doesn’t live in a colony says that events like these help isolated Parsis who live in cosmopolitan societies to nurture alliances within the community.

Arnavaz Mistry would do well to involve medical intervention within the matchmaking program. This would enlighten the new-generation that hereditary illnesses that seem to proliferate among the Zoroastrian community can and should be wisely and intelligently avoided say experts. Charles Darwin in his theory of evolution proved that the survival of the fittest is nature’s law and this must be kept in mind by the Zoroastrians. Not only quantity but quality of life is significant when endangered species have to be preserved. If the medical aspect is overlooked then the Parsis would do well to develop their own clones as shown in the Hollywood film The Island.

Tags: love, marriage, matrimony, mumbai, parsi

Capitalising on the Claus

Every year, dozens of Santas graduate from what is probably Mumbai’s oldest and only Santa training school. After learning the Santa talk, the Santa walk and the Santa ho-ho-ho, the red and white bundles of joy are transported to malls, shops, homes and Christmas parties all over India. Their professor, Martin D’Souza has been training “happy people’’ to play the jolly old man for 20 years now.

Classes for the only finishing school that aims at making flab and wrinkles attractive and lucrative begin in the first week of December. Admission criteria are physical attributes like high cheekbones, broad shoulders and a twinkle in the eye.

A member of the Clowns of India International (COAI) and International Brotherhood of Magicians (IBM) D’Souza hires “fresh graduates or undergraduates’’ for his event management company Mad Hatters Entertainment. They are taught the nuances of clowning like juggling, magic, mime, stilt walking and comedy but only a select few get to play Santa. Both men and women can enroll.

Earlier, students were trained to be Mr Claus, Mrs Claus and the young and pretty Santarinas. But Mrs Claus had no takers. “Party goers prefer Santarinas with their halter-necks and short skirts’’, says D’Souza who has imported Claus costumes from America and Singapore for the 60 Santa-strong troupe.

Past experience has made the school shy away from Delhi parties because “hunt and hit Santa is a sport’’ for the saucy crowd there.

Cyril D'Souza with his grand daughter and neighbour on his Byculla home terrace

But 72-year-old Byculla-resident Cyril D’Souza who has been playing the role since 1983 says the crowd can be as raucous in Mumbai too. “I don’t mind the rough handling. Regular yoga helps me stay flexible,’’ he says.

He recalls the time when he was lifted by a crane to perform at the Chembur Gymkhana do which made him feel like a superhero performing a stunt. At a party at Mahalakshmi racecourse he had to arrive as Santa on horseback which proved quite cumbersome with the Santa costume.

This professional Santa vouches that he would make a good candidate for the Limca Book of Records since he shakes hands with over 2,000 guests for every party he visits.

Bandra Santa Darryl Loyola at Hill Road's St Peter's Church

A Santa from Bandra, Darryl Loyola informs that shaking hands and crowd management is a scientific operation. Disciplinary tactics have to be in place without being to obvious as a large crowd could cause a stampede and chaos. He has acquired an on-the-job expertise and can cope with rowdy crowds, hankering street kids and filmstar crazy fans as he often pairs up with celebrities.

Last week, he shared the stage with Salman Khan at Wellington Club where a Christmas party for orphans had been organised. A dance teacher at St Stanislaus School and makeup artist by profession, Loyola uses his professional skills to role-play Santa. He choreographs his own Santa stints and does his own old-man makeup.

A regular at Hill Road’s St Peter’s Church, this year, his bag of goodies not only contains sweets for children but medicine boxes for the needy sick who come for Christmas mass at the church.

Tags: Christmas, church, mumbai, santa claus

Unemployed and underground

Saddled with debt and the tag of being unemployed, a group of 20 trained commercial pilots met last week at Kalina. They prefer staying anonymous and say there are around 3,000 others like them. They’re people who spent Rs 30- 40 lakh to train and obtain a commercial pilot license, and are now just about barely managing to pay EMI. Some are 21-year-olds, who joined flying schools, after not scoring well enough to make it to medical or engineering school. For them it was the best alternative, but little did they know that three years down the line, the slowdown-hit sector would have no vacancies.

For 22-year-old Divyesh Trivedi the captain prefix before his name is only of ornamental value. Today, after completing 200 hours of flying, the Dadar-resident works with a BPO. “How else do I pay an EMI of Rs 45,000?’’ he asks. Trivedi says it was the air traffic boom, three years ago that attracted a large number of young students to the sector. But that gap was filled by over 900 expat pilots and those who had retired after the government increased the flying age from 60 to 65. “It hurts when airlines continue to employ foreigners when there are so many qualified Indians waiting for a job,’’ he says.

Recruited on a contractual basis, expat pilots are paid 30-70 % more than their Indian counterparts with a bonus of free accommodation. “Their contracts are being renewed and other expats are still being hired. Why the unfair treatment?’’ he asks. “We want a rollback in the retirement age back to 60,’’ say pilots like Trivedi who have come together and formed the Unemployed Pilots Welfare Association of India this year. “For all government jobs the retirement age is 60, then why is it still 65 for pilots? Isn’t it a security risk since the rarefied atmosphere, fatigue and jetlag can make it tougher for retired pilots to fly?’’ they ask emphasizing the need for all pilots to have quick reflexes. Members network using the Internet and hold meetings like the one at Kalina to make sure they make the right noises, at the right decibels. But when they warn out-of-school freshers against attractive aviation school adverts, they are snapped at with, “You are pulling us down,’’ in return.

So severe is the job drought that even small time airlines are taking advantage of the large number of unemployed who are eager to fly. When Air India advertised for 30 trainee pilot posts, it received more than 1,350 responses and no one was selected because of reported irregularities. Spirit Air in Ranchi, a private air-taxi provider invited applications but charged a fee of Rs 6,000 from every applicant. Other private operators charge heavy deposits for every application, making huge profits in the process and do not even tell the applicant the results. “Recruiters are taking advantage of the jobless and milking us as much as they can,’’ says Dhruv Sen who was asked to show 3,000 hours of flying experience by one recruiter. “It takes almost a year to finish 1000 hours, with each hour costing Rs 7000. It is next to impossible for a newbie who generally completes 200-280 flying hours to have that kind of experience.’’

Tags: mumbai, pilots, UPWA