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Kareena’s weight loss is illegal

Green. We all turn green when we watch Kareena show off her 23” waist line. Most of the normal women do at least. Wasted. ‘Yeah, she’s high on drugs,’ that’s what mom says to keep me motivated to hit the gym. Now France is going all out to impose a ban on editors who carry photographs of size zero models. The same rule should be applied here. Like banning Kareena. Bah, she ain’t size zero, but I am so freaking jealous. After reading this post, some might think this is an elitist thing to want. Maybe it is. But nothing feels better than my friends telling me I’ve lost weight. Yeah. And I refuse to be compared to the weird granny in Requiem for a dream who was so obsessed with her weight. But I sure do get kicks from working out. It is almost like an addiction. Lifting those bells and flinging, almost flicking them down. Sweet pain.

Recently Star News gave prime time television space to Kareena’s yoga teacher. The teacher, who wasn’t particularly attractive and didn’t even have a proportionate body was pointing at Kareena’s diet chart. The funny part was, all that came out of that programme was that Kareena’s Diet Coke drinking habits. The dumbing down for 30 minutes looked like another marketing gimmick for Brand Coke.

At least Salman Khan promotes cycling by doing it himself. I mean, mean, lean machine. Prejudice apart, that man is gorgeous. I don’t go green when I see him. Just red. And red is enough to wake me early and hit the gym.

Tags: Diet Coke, green, Kareena Kapoor, red

Of things that wriggle…

An average of 90kgs of flowers are offered up at the Siddhivinayak Temple, every day. But have you ever wondered where all these flowers go?

“I collect them and turn them into gold at my farm in Andheri,” says Prakash Dandekar. Gold!

You ask incredulously. The 60-year-old then stretches his arms out and presents what he calls the ATM box — his invention to convert wet waste into organic manure. “ATM stands for Air, Temperature and Moisture control for earthworms, the creatures that help me make rich compost.”

But before you drop the newspaper in squirmish disgust, did you know that Cleopatra was known to have declared earthworms sacred after she realised their value…in 50BC?

“I want Mumbaikars to realise the importance of these creatures. My vermiculture farms in Andheri and Mahim depend on them,” says Dandekar, holding a few worms in his hand.

The city produces 8,500 metric tonnes of garbage every day, and as Mumbai’s four dumping grounds slowly reach saturation point, the BMC’s wet and dry garbage segregation initiative has attracted the attention of housing societies.

The BMC also gives an award to the best-maintained building, and garbage separation is one of the must-haves in order to even participate.

Vermiculture, and its wriggly powerhouses, aren’t just meant for farms either; you could start one right in your home. According to Renu Jagasia, who works at an organic farm in New Jersey, USA, composting is a trend in many homes across Europe and North America. “They call it green gold in the US, because it makes people rich,” she says.

The process, which takes three months to complete, is simple and doesn’t require too much effort. “Instead of paying the BMC Rs200 per month for collection of their wet garbage, many organisations prefer recycling,” says Dandekar.

But Dandekar is worried. He claims that the rapid urbanisation of the city has led to a decline in the population of rain worms.

And although a campaign to Save the Earthworm doesn’t seem to be on the horizon, citizens would do well to start looking into the merits of vermiculture, after all, there could be a pot of gold waiting for you at the end.

Tags: earthworm, green, Siddhivinayak, vermiculture