Twit in check
I wrote this for The Times of India. The original story is here : http://bit.ly/aFTxH5
The chief minister of Maharashtra may soon declare a holiday for a new celebration, the ‘Washing Lenin Festival’. Befuddled? So were we. But blame it on Ritiesh Deshmukh. A few days ago, the actor tweeted, ‘’Most families don’t wash their Dirty Lenin in public’’. Don’t castigate Deshmukh. After all he does have political genes and they were sure to affect him some day.
If you are famous then your tweets have more followers. Only a skilled Piped Piper can lure the tweeple over a cliff and into a stormy sea. And celebrity Twitter followers are often at sea with their spello-studded tweets.
Virender Sehwag can be quite cryptic online. The cricketer regularly posts musings about life and love on the forum, but his followers were taken aback when he once posted: ‘’Living is very simple..loving is simple.. wining is also simple..laughing is too simple..but, being SIMPLE is very difficult!’’. Did he mean whining or wining as in ‘wining and dining’? It has to be one of these two connotations since the Indian cricketers excel at both these W words only. The verb winning, on the other hand, does not figure in their vocabulary. It is only mentioned sotto voce, so it cannot possibly figure in Sehwag’s tweet.
With Twitter going mainstream, every side heroine and spot boy seems to have a real-time page of their own. While some outsource this work to their PR army, others prefer connecting with their fans themselves. The celebrities that choose to update their own profiles without any interference from those boring image-correcting middlemen are every eavesdroppers’ delight. Every time that hidden flaw surfaces, fans feel more connected to their idol. They curse the media for sanitising grammatical errors and spellos that their idols make.
Today, Twitter is saturated with bigwigs scaling a vast range from the wannabes to the comebacks and the ones ruling the roost. Every time they take a false step, their followers are adventitiously amused.
Sameera Reddy who is learning how to ride a bike was so excited that her tweet was full of vigour. “Its invigourating! What an amazing sense of freedom on the road!Graduated to a pulsur 2day!’’. After landing at the international airport in Mumbai, and in a vulnerable state of mind she posted, “Landed at intl airport-can’t change ppls opinion of Mumbai-Overheard some foriegners say it’s smelly & dirty! It’s home & I’m glad to be bck!’’.
Another entertainer who doesn’t cease to amuse is Chunkay Punday, sorry, Chunkey Pandey. His last gem read, ‘’Started d match, we’r feilding. actually i am also handling commentry along with the feilding 
’’.
Yuvraj Singh had people guessing with his arcane words when he tweeted, ‘’Can’t sleep too excited to go to windies ! Goin to the gym chocalate for breakfast yummyy! Oh by the way goodmornin everyone rise and shine!’’.
The verified and very official account of Shilpa Shetty, a dance addict, wished her ‘tweetos’ a “Happy Independance Day’’.
Her contemporary Ayesha Takia has diets on her mind and it shows in her tweets. She once tweeted, “My spot boy immidietly said ,madam neeche raste pe dus rupey ka do milega,400 rupey mein party!! Hahahahaahahhaahha!! How much v hav laughd’’. Also wine is on her mind and is reflected in this tweet, “Farhan has been lighting OUDH (agar wood) in the house!!smells devine!!if only v cud send smell tweets id send it 2 all of u!!hahahahahah!’’.
Shahid Kapoor experienced a meteoric rise on the popularity ladder after he tweeted, “Sonams bday today ….. Wonderful girl .. With the sweetest smile … Wishing her good luck n good health .. Sure she will do her parents’’.
But everyone’s favourite entertainer on Twitter, Salman Khan who is being himself, has unwittingly revealed his love for the apostrophe (which incidentally is a symbol for belonging to). “Y am I not tweeting for the past 3 day’s?’’ he asks his followers. All one can say is that hope’s that’s all’s well’s that end’s well.
