An enterprising 55-year-old bachelor claiming to have almost made it to the portals of the Forbes list of billionaires was reluctantly but firmly refused entry to an exclusive party. So were pushy parents and wannabe in-laws who were eager to gatecrash the meet. The unlikely bouncers were hoary-headed and fragile but iron-willed pillars of the Zoroastrian community who had arranged a get-together aka speed dating only for Zoroastrian eligibles aged 18-40. The soporific Khareghat Colony at Hughes Road was suddenly charged with exuberance when 97 singles descended upon the venue last Saturday.

The meet was organised by the Bombay Parsi Panchayat (BPP) who has turned matchmaker in order to facilitate young Zoroastrians to find soulmates and counter the dwindling population of the community. It’s proposed to be a monthly affair, which will culminate in a few happily-married-ever-after stories. (…and ofcourse then there would be three or four or even five…)

The 2001 census reported that the number of Parsis in India were 69600 and a recent research paper by the International Institute for Population Sciences titled `The Demographic Predicament of Parsis in India’ predicts that by 2051, there would be only 34,000 Parsis in India. The marriage bureau has been revived by the BPP in order to make sure single Parsis who otherwise do not get chances to interact with members of their community have a place to meet.

Organiser and BPP trustee Arnavaz Mistry recalls how she would get calls from parents looking to find suitors for their children. “Singles wanted the BPP to organize more community meets. The response to our efforts has been unprecedented. We had 91 singles at the first meet and 96 for the second,’’ she says. 

Each hopeful had to list their name, age, address, qualifications and contact details in a register before entering. Of the 96 participants, 36 were girls and 60 were boys. The organisers observed that while the girls were double graduates, MBAs, LLBs, MBBSs and CAs, the boys scored lower on the educational front, which does not work in their favour.

As the program took off, perennially favourite party games with appropriate innovations helped to break the ice and let the singles mingle. The Queen of Sheeba suddenly showed a bias to demand significantly Zoroastrian items. An Asho Farohar pendant, a kusti (holy thread worn around the waist) and a gent’s sudra (muslin shirt of religious significance) were on her requests list. One team gained extra points when an eager-beaver swiftly partially disrobed and proffered his sadra to the team members to gain winning points. His task was heartily applauded. An on-looker would wonder why others were reluctant to follow in this Salman Khan’s footsteps.

The next ice-breaker almost became an arm-breaker as Musical Arms was played to songs like Rasputin, DISCO, Daddy Cool and Gimme Hope Jo’anna. As group games progressed, the bashful youngsters were seen conversing and getting to know each other. ”If you look closely, you’ll notice that the guys are actually more shy than the girls,” says Zarin Havewala one of the organisers. Host and BPP trustee  Arnavaz Mistry was egging the participants to socialise. ”Our efforts would not be in vain even if they culminate in one or two marriages,” says Desai who had publicised the event through various colony circulars and newspaper ads. The old ways of making matches through word of mouth by the kaajwali bai (matchmaker) are almost redundant. The 21st century Zoroastrians prefer to have a direct dialogue to confirm a plausible alliance.

Yazdi Naval Manek, 38 has been trying to find a suitable match since seven years. “Earlier the BPP would send registered letters with details about prospective brides. But that method was very slow and didn’t really help me find a good match,’’ says the resident of Byculla’s Jer Baug who then tries to make conversation with a group of giggling girls from Godrej Baug. Their dilemma is apparent. “I’m 29, unmarried and Parsi. There are too few boys, too much pressure,’’ lamented a girl.

A young man came forward to speak up before the crowd, ”I’m looking for a girl with both sense and sensibility. The bank balance doesn’t matter and since I’m going go top of the hill soon, I think it’s time to get a life partner. Let’s appreciate efforts of the BPP by making efforts ourselves”. Colaba residents and friends Vaspan Chichgar and Khushroo Tata wanted to connect positively with the girls and then hopefully a friendship would blossom into marriage. ”It’s better to be friends, get to know the person before jumping into marriage,” says Chichgar who points out that the community suffers a high divorce rate which needs to be controlled. ”I want to increase the Parsi progeny and give back to the community,” he says. Tata who doesn’t live in a colony says that events like these help isolated Parsis who live in cosmopolitan societies to nurture alliances within the community.

Arnavaz Mistry would do well to involve medical intervention within the matchmaking program. This would enlighten the new-generation that hereditary illnesses that seem to proliferate among the Zoroastrian community can and should be wisely and intelligently avoided say experts. Charles Darwin in his theory of evolution proved that the survival of the fittest is nature’s law and this must be kept in mind by the Zoroastrians. Not only quantity but quality of life is significant when endangered species have to be preserved. If the medical aspect is overlooked then the Parsis would do well to develop their own clones as shown in the Hollywood film The Island.

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On Tuesday morning, little did office-goers and daily commuters know that Hughes Road was going to be the site of a sit-down strike. Hundreds of angry parents and students of 78-year-old New Era School squatted across the road to protest the Birla management’s order asking students to shift to a new school building on D N Road. “How can you expect students to attend classes in a building that has prostitutes standing outside, two dilapidated buildings next to it and shops on the first floor?” asked furious parents. “They told us the Hughes Road building would fall down any day, but they are ready to open an IGCSE school it it?”

In their blue checked uniforms, schoolchildren from classes I to X sat on the road, umbrellas at the ready, all through the morning and afternoon. They shouted slogans and held up placards for the television cameras that had gathered. But as the hours passed, the kids began to amuse themselves by playing football on the traffic-free roads, throwing paper-plate frisbees on the Kemp’s Corner flyover and painting in the colouring books. They were regularly replenished by crates of food — bananas, dhokla and farsaan. Their parents sat cross-legged on the road. The posters they held up read: `Now we know what hell is’ and `If your children were in this school what would you do?’

Fed up with the education department’s tardiness in giving a decision on where the school should be situated, parents met at the nearby August Kranti Maidan—where Mahatma Gandhi launched the Quit India movement—late on Monday night and decided to block the road the next morning. “They (the management) don’t understand Gandhi so we had to extend the satyagraha and block this VIP road,” said a protester. Ex-students, former teachers, students and parents started collecting outside the school from 8 am.

“The CM promised to take action on Monday but he didn’t. We’ve been fighting legally since the last eight months and now are fed up of the system not giving justice,” said an angry parent Nirav Shah.

Justifying the block, students said, “We allowed ambulances and emergency cases to pass.” They said they were sick of staying home and studying on their own for two months. “It has affected us psychologically now. We just can’t concentrate on studying because we are under so much pressure,” said standard ten student Rushil Bhayani who is worried about his SSC exam.

Sitting with a group of mothers was Sharmila Thackeray, wife of MNS head Raj Thackeray. “As a mother of two children, I know exactly how these parents feel,” she said. BJP MLA for South Mumbai Mangal Prabhat Lodha who went on a fast last week was also present. “Lakshmi has taken over the temple of Saraswati,” said a parent.

Deputy Commissioner of Police Himanshu Roy and Joint commissioner (law and order) KL Prasad visited the site in the afternoon. Roy asked parents to vacate the road. “As a responsible officer, I am asking you to act as responsible parents and citizens. How can we be as good as the Chinese then?” he asked.

By 4 pm, one-lane traffic was allowed to flow towards North Mumbai. “When one road is blocked they can use another, but where do we go?” asked a teary eyed mother.

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Waterfalls are beautiful they say.  This waterfall refuses to fall, like the rest.

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Happy Friendship Day!

From,
Limespace Networks and Sensonize.com

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Dated 20/7/09

Dear Mahafreed,

If you want to do, what you want to do, then sign this note and remember my warning, because I have experienced teaching at Churchgate railway station and Andheri.

The person in charge was a Christian whose wife and daughter were not involved. He would get college students to work and at “teaching” railway beggars, making films and getting foreign donations for his NGO.

When I had questioned my professor (in teaching school) as to how much money is received from abroad by the “person” they were very rude to me and asked me not to “poke my nose” too much.

Please sign this before you get involved:

1. I, Mahafreed will not expect my mother to get medical treatment if I contract the following diseases:

a. TB (Bleeding from the spit, anus)
b. scabies (100% contagious)
c. ringworm
d. Malaria
e. lice
f. Influenza/Diptharia
g. bed bugs and worms (intestinal)
h. The last disease I am censoring because I was appalled myself to read it in this list.

Sign here

________________

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For The Times of India

Bandra, long labelled the Queen of the Suburbs, has lately acquired new tags, thanks to the large number of expats who have made it their home. It’s now also nicknamed Gora Town and the Desi Brooklyn.

The old stomping ground of Mumbai’s expat community was once farther south. But today, Colaba is largely for tourists, and Malabar Hill for vegetarians. Bandra is where the Americans, Brits, French and Germans are headed. To cater to their needs, the bhajiwallas of Pali market stock parsley, arugula and thyme. You see expats waiting for rattling autorickshaws, teaching underprivileged children, learning how to belly dance and tango at Zenzi, and jogging along the curvy promenades at Carter Road and Bandstand.

If Bandra Beautiful has become an attractive expat magnet, it’s for a host of reasons, including good schools and good sushi. For one thing, the consulates are moving. The British deputy high commission has already pitched its tent at the Bandra-Kurla Complex. The Americans, who for years have been making noises about moving there, promise to do so by the summer of 2010.

The consular shifts make eminent sense given that schools and corporates have turned their backs on the pricey real estate of SoBo or South Bombay.

There are many reasons Bandra, the queen of Mumbai’s suburbs, is increasingly the preferred home of expats in the city. The Bandra-Kurla Complex is home to the American School of Bombay and the Dhirubhai Ambani International School. In addition, a number of NGOs like Operation Smile, Kripa, Medecins Sans Frontieres (Doctors Without Borders) and the Kherwadi Social Welfare Association, all of which have a stream of earnest young expat volunteers knocking on their doors, are also based in Bandra. Not only is the suburb ideally located between the Old South and the New North, it’s also less expensive than Breach Candy and offers three luxurious waterfronts as compared to the lone Scandal Point stretch on Bhulabhai Desai Road.

Bandraites, otherwise happy with their exotic new migrants, aren’t too thrilled that expat demand has sent rents soaring higher than Mount Mary’s steeple. Having moved to Mumbai after falling in love online, marketing specialist Jennifer Schoffel thinks Bandra’s strategic placement makes it the most comfortable place in which to live. “It’s almost like a little, independent town in a big city. With its little cafes, bars, restaurants and shopping areas, Bandra offers a very special atmosphere,’’ says the 29-year-old German whose favourite places are restos like Out of the Blue, The Bagel Shop and Zenzi.

Fittingly, the owner of the much-loved Bagel Shop and Zenzi, Matan Schabracq, is himself an expat. A business opportunity brought him from Amsterdam to Bandra five years ago and he fell head over heels in love with the suburb. “Bandra is Mumbai’s New York. It’s full of ambitious young people from other places,’’ says the Almeida Park resident.

Serving expat needs are designer home stores, where American moms shop after dropping their kids off at school, and groceries that stock several varieties of cheese, Thai, Mexican and Chinese sauces, Middle Eastern hummus and crisp lavash bread. At Pali Naka’s Regal Plus store, for example, more than half the customers are foreigners. “We’ve seen a 60% increase in the number of foreign clients who come for imported packaged food,’’ says owner Alkesh Dedhia.

Real estate agent Jogi Singh says Bandra is easily the most popular choice among expats looking to rent. “In the last year, there has been a 30% increase in expats, including students and business heads,’’ he says. He adds that customers prefer to live close to Mount Mary or Pali Hill. Says Ajay Rao, CEO of Writer Relocation, a company that helps people move and set up home in a new city, “About 40% of the members of Writer’s Expat Club live in Bandra.”

Online too, of all the areas in Mumbai, Gora Town is a favoured destination, with Powai a close second. Blogs and travel forums offer free advice to newcomers drifting in from Holland, Israel, Australia, Italy, France, Denmark and Lithuania. Shannon Frandsen, who recently moved to Mumbai from Rotterdam, chose Bandra over Worli and Powai because she felt “it’s a happening place not too far from work or fun’’. This blogger and mom says she’s met expats in Powai who said they’d rather be in Bandra. “I should sell Powai residents a T-shirt that says, ‘I’d rather be in Bandra’,’’ she says jokingly.

Last but not least, Bandra is cool in an important way. “It’s a comfortable place for women,’’ says Daniel Goff, a US resident who lived in Bandra while he was in Mumbai. “They can wear western clothes without getting harassed. And since there are so many of us all around the place, we don’t get constantly stared at.’’

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Death after, the RIPs will scorn the face of your material pursuits.

I’m not self-gloating or looking beyond my reflections, but every human needs respect.

Respect reeks from things trite sometimes. As trite some may think as sun rise.

But to see the beauty in trite and mundane is the beauty of being alive.

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Those overrated restaurants that cater to lazy bodies talking about the next place they should eat at
Those moviehalls that reek of empty popcorn bags thrown by the overdressed bodies
They’re after the mediocre, those bodies without hearts. They’re making me feel sick, the bodies who walk away, the bodies who have no opinions, the bodies who have become part of mechanical routines driven by money and material needs, the bodies who close their eyes and all their senses to keep up with pace.
A pace, that will in turn put to rest their already dead souls.

Where’s the soul?

When was the last time you really felt bad for the lil kid eating a meal from the garbage bin?
When was the last time you felt pain for the lonely stray dog without anyone to love?
When was the last time you admired the way leaves swayed with every passing breeze?

Ah they don’t matter. Entertainment comes to you only when you pay for it. You feel feelings only when you’ve paid to feel them. Sigh.

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On sale at Mumbai’s most truthfully named market, Chor Bazaar, the Bombay Fornicator-a planter’s chair with extendable arms that swing out and work as footrests-is basking in newfound attention after a prominent featuring in a new novel, Siddharth Dhanvant Shanghvi’s lushly written The Lost Flamingoes of Bombay.

In the book, an impossibly talented photographer is told by an unspeakably gorgeous actress that if he wishes to immortalise Bombay city, he should definitely have the BF starring in a cameo role. Gorgeous doesn’t elaborate or explain, so skewered by curiosity, the lensman stumbles through the antique muddle of Chor Bazaar and braves the smirks of shopkeepers until a beautiful stranger takes pity on him and leads him to the Bombay Fornicator. One suffers his piercing disappointment when he beholds the object of his quest: “what a lot of fuss about a chair”. It is an unkind cut, but the appropriateness of the name soon unfurls.

Called the long lounge chair, the easy chair, aaram khursee, lambey haath or the Tall Dark and Handsome by different users, the low-slung wood-and-rattan Bombay Fornicator is said to have been jointed in India during the British regime and christened by the lounge lizards of the Raj. Today, furniture store Dorabji N Mistry and Sons will build you a customised siesta chair for about Rs 12,000. At Chor Bazaar’s Mutton Street, they are displayed like trophies atop stacks of wooden furniture. Furniture hunters who stop by Saquib Shastiker’s shop often ask him about the grand old chair. Describing it as a “running item”, the 26-year-old businessman says, “I will disclose its price to the customer directly.” A little nudging later he reveals, “The starting price is Rs 10,000 as we re-polish the antique to ensure longevity.”

The BF dozes in the living room of many Goan and Parsi homes and is a staple at the city’s roomy old reading rooms and libraries like the David Sassoon, where members use them to read and siesta. In the polished, old-world interiors of the Ripon Club at Flora Fountain, guests can be seen enjoying a post-lunch nap on the chairs. One of Mumbai’s most respected criminal lawyers, the late P R Vakil, could be found there most afternoons, enjoying a quiet cup of tea. Secretary of the club Rumi Tatary says, “Both men and women enjoy lying on them after eating dhansak or some of the other non-vegetarian Parsi meals we serve.” Zahreer Panthaki, a regular at the club makes it a point to lie on the chair after a hearty meal. “Stretching my legs on this chair makes me feel nostalgic,” says Panthaki, “Many cottages in Udwada too have this antique chair.”

In The Lost Flamingoes of Bombay, the mystery around the Bombay Fornicator is sustained for a while. The lady who pilots the photographer to this unholy grail, asks him to sit in it. Describing the moment, the book reads, `With his crotch aloft, his legs drawn out, Karan felt completely exposed.’ Spreadeagled at a foolish angle in a position all too compromising, the singular beauty of the name strikes him. `He sat up, smiling like a baby who was being tickled on its soles.’

The author recalls how he used to spend days at Chor Bazaar looking for an apt item of furniture for his spartan Juhu studio. “The joy of discovering an old piece is magical, and I often spent time just watching life pass by and hanging out there,” says the 31-year-old Shanghvi. Ask him if he has a Bombay Fornicator at home and he says, “I’m going to get myself one and make sure I put it to good use.”

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