The great Parsi pursuit
The original article appeared in The Times of India here: The Great Parsi Pursuit
An enterprising 55-year-old bachelor claiming to have almost made it to the portals of the Forbes list of billionaires was reluctantly but firmly refused entry to an exclusive party. So were pushy parents and wannabe in-laws who were eager to gatecrash the meet. The unlikely bouncers were hoary-headed and fragile but iron-willed pillars of the Zoroastrian community who had arranged a get-together aka speed dating only for Zoroastrian eligibles aged 18-40. The soporific Khareghat Colony at Hughes Road was suddenly charged with exuberance when 97 singles descended upon the venue last Saturday.
The meet was organised by the Bombay Parsi Panchayat (BPP) who has turned matchmaker in order to facilitate young Zoroastrians to find soulmates and counter the dwindling population of the community. It’s proposed to be a monthly affair, which will culminate in a few happily-married-ever-after stories. (…and ofcourse then there would be three or four or even five…)
The 2001 census reported that the number of Parsis in India were 69600 and a recent research paper by the International Institute for Population Sciences titled `The Demographic Predicament of Parsis in India’ predicts that by 2051, there would be only 34,000 Parsis in India. The marriage bureau has been revived by the BPP in order to make sure single Parsis who otherwise do not get chances to interact with members of their community have a place to meet.
Organiser and BPP trustee Arnavaz Mistry recalls how she would get calls from parents looking to find suitors for their children. “Singles wanted the BPP to organize more community meets. The response to our efforts has been unprecedented. We had 91 singles at the first meet and 96 for the second,’’ she says.
Each hopeful had to list their name, age, address, qualifications and contact details in a register before entering. Of the 96 participants, 36 were girls and 60 were boys. The organisers observed that while the girls were double graduates, MBAs, LLBs, MBBSs and CAs, the boys scored lower on the educational front, which does not work in their favour.
As the program took off, perennially favourite party games with appropriate innovations helped to break the ice and let the singles mingle. The Queen of Sheeba suddenly showed a bias to demand significantly Zoroastrian items. An Asho Farohar pendant, a kusti (holy thread worn around the waist) and a gent’s sudra (muslin shirt of religious significance) were on her requests list. One team gained extra points when an eager-beaver swiftly partially disrobed and proffered his sadra to the team members to gain winning points. His task was heartily applauded. An on-looker would wonder why others were reluctant to follow in this Salman Khan’s footsteps.
The next ice-breaker almost became an arm-breaker as Musical Arms was played to songs like Rasputin, DISCO, Daddy Cool and Gimme Hope Jo’anna. As group games progressed, the bashful youngsters were seen conversing and getting to know each other. ”If you look closely, you’ll notice that the guys are actually more shy than the girls,” says Zarin Havewala one of the organisers. Host and BPP trustee Arnavaz Mistry was egging the participants to socialise. ”Our efforts would not be in vain even if they culminate in one or two marriages,” says Desai who had publicised the event through various colony circulars and newspaper ads. The old ways of making matches through word of mouth by the kaajwali bai (matchmaker) are almost redundant. The 21st century Zoroastrians prefer to have a direct dialogue to confirm a plausible alliance.
Yazdi Naval Manek, 38 has been trying to find a suitable match since seven years. “Earlier the BPP would send registered letters with details about prospective brides. But that method was very slow and didn’t really help me find a good match,’’ says the resident of Byculla’s Jer Baug who then tries to make conversation with a group of giggling girls from Godrej Baug. Their dilemma is apparent. “I’m 29, unmarried and Parsi. There are too few boys, too much pressure,’’ lamented a girl.
A young man came forward to speak up before the crowd, ”I’m looking for a girl with both sense and sensibility. The bank balance doesn’t matter and since I’m going go top of the hill soon, I think it’s time to get a life partner. Let’s appreciate efforts of the BPP by making efforts ourselves”. Colaba residents and friends Vaspan Chichgar and Khushroo Tata wanted to connect positively with the girls and then hopefully a friendship would blossom into marriage. ”It’s better to be friends, get to know the person before jumping into marriage,” says Chichgar who points out that the community suffers a high divorce rate which needs to be controlled. ”I want to increase the Parsi progeny and give back to the community,” he says. Tata who doesn’t live in a colony says that events like these help isolated Parsis who live in cosmopolitan societies to nurture alliances within the community.
Arnavaz Mistry would do well to involve medical intervention within the matchmaking program. This would enlighten the new-generation that hereditary illnesses that seem to proliferate among the Zoroastrian community can and should be wisely and intelligently avoided say experts. Charles Darwin in his theory of evolution proved that the survival of the fittest is nature’s law and this must be kept in mind by the Zoroastrians. Not only quantity but quality of life is significant when endangered species have to be preserved. If the medical aspect is overlooked then the Parsis would do well to develop their own clones as shown in the Hollywood film The Island.
